October 18th, 2007
Dear Andrea,
For years I have aimlessly “dated” guys of questionable behavior which led to my own questionable behavior. I am trying to change, I really am. Now I have met someone I am completely crazy about. He is smart, funny, and seems to like being seen with my in public. The catch? A guy I casually date when he comes to town is coming here this weekend and I have plans with him that we made months ago. I am so afraid I am going to misbehave if I keep those plans with him. What should I do? Make up a story? Go?
Help!
Miss confused….
Dear Miss confused,
You should tell him your grandmother is in town and has one week left to live� After that she is going to have experimental surgery� But in order for this lie to work you really need to start talking about the surgery to everyone that knows the both of you. Make sure you have all your chickens in a row so you won’t get caught and defiantly include medical terms and furrow your eye brows while doing so. You might even get a few sympathy cards from people. Not what you were looking for? Oh well, tell him the truth. I know the truth is a pain and you could hurt his feelings but you won’t look like a dumb a#* if you get caught in a lie. And really, there is something horrible about lying about your grandma. So tell him you have finally met someone you really like and you are terrified that you could screw it up if you are back to your old behaviors.
Posted in Chick Questions
October 9th, 2007
Most of my days are spent with young children or teenagers. I absolutely love both age groups because they are so similar which includes their ridiculous sayings and constant mood swings. My teens usually keep me updated on all the latest trends. Hey, thats why I love Myspace. I recommend to all parents that they create a Myspace page and then make sure they are on their child’s friend page. If they don’t add you, make sure they delete their account. The amount of info on Myspace is amazing. Plus, they tend to forget they have you as a friend and then you are so on top of the naughty behaviors. I am not ashamed to spy on my high school gymnasts and then turn them into their parents when I read or see questionable material.
The current or maybe not so current slang term is “hot mess”. Used as: “That girl that just walked in is a hot mess, she has stains all over her clothes and her hair is a mess”. The only hot mess I know about is the one my German Shepherd puppy makes on my floor. Literally you are calling someone a stinky pile of grossness. Stop. Seriously, Stop. It sounds inane.
Posted in Interesting Questions
September 22nd, 2007
I have been having some problems sleeping last night. A mature way to handle this situation would be to do some stretches, take a warm bath, and then meditate. Instead I chose to think about everything in life that bothers me. Including the annoying things I do and or say. The first is when some explains how they have turned their life around by saying they have done a complete 360. I am horrible at math but wouldn’t you be back to where you started? In reality you haven’t done a damn thing. Basically you are telling someone you have worked really hard to not get anywhere. I think i’ll start telling people I have done a 45, changed enough but not so much that I had to work really hard.
Growing up I used to love to buy things with the Guess logo, fortunately my mom didn’t buy us a lot of crap like that. You were seriously “in” when you wore shirts and sweatshirts with a logo on them from an “in” brand. It never occurred to me how ridiculous this is until my friends father pointed out that I was paying to advertise for the company. Now wearing American Eagle, Hollister, and Abercrombie is the complete obsession for teenagers. I can remember begging for a pair of $40 jeans and that is a drop in the bucket now. The big difference now? Girls are paying to advertise for these companies by wearing the logos on their booties. Seriously? I am going to give you money so I can wear your name on my ass?
Annoying thing number three, how I start sentencing out by saying “I’m not going to lie…” I can’t stop myself from doing this. Here is an example, “I’m not going to lie, that is the funniest movie ever”. Why in the hell would I lie about that. Annoying.
You would think that this type of thinking would keep me up at night…nope. I feel asleep rather quickly, well after I made my list.
Posted in Life Events, Uncategorized
August 13th, 2007
I’m not sure I answered my last post correctly. Looking back, I believe I was rather blah about the whole thing. Divorce is tricky enough without children involved. Taking more time to read and think about the question, i’m adjusting my response. Staying in a marriage ONLY for the children really seems to be a raw deal for the kids. They grow up having no concept of what a loving relationship is, the cycle of bad marriage will inevitably continue. I can’t imagine spending 5 or even 10 years living with someone you don’t love or even really like. The only thing the children get out of it is seeing their parents every day. Parents who are not at their best, living the best life they can. What’s the point? On the other hand, making the best out of your marriage, if there is something there, is worth staying for. Working hard to preserve a family for as long as possible is ideal in my book. I know there are varied opinions and I want to hear them.
Posted in Interesting Questions
August 9th, 2007
Dear Andrea,
My brother is madly in love with someone…its not his wife. Oh he loves her too, but a warm fuzzy friendship sort of way. Nice huh? In the five years they have been married, three have been spent in love with someone else. His reason for staying? His daughter. Recently, over a few beers, he informed me he was going to leave when his girl graduated. I spit beer all over him laughing. Does he seriously think leaving his wife in 14 plus year will make it better? Is it better to leave when the kids are older or younger?
Sincerely,
related to a dummy.
Dear Dummy Relative,
Leave now or leave later…does not matter, they both suck. Divorce is divorce. The benefit to waiting is living in the same house with your kid. But if you wait until they are older it will really piss them off and you may loose their love later in life, when you both need it more. The last thing a kid on the verge of adulthood needs is his parents splitting up. But seriously, your brother should stop wasting his wifes chance at finding someone who loves her. Not cool.
Posted in Interesting Questions
August 9th, 2007
Dear Andrea,
I have been dating this guy for four years now. In that time I have gained about 70lbs, which seems to bother everyone. Its safe to say I am way beyond a size 14. Wayyyy beyond. My family keeps telling me to lose weight. This seems pointless because my guy says he likes me as is. So what do you think? Should I even bother and give up the food that I love?
Sincerely,
Too fat for fun?
Dear Ms. Fun,
Yes, you need to lose weight and no, he does not like you as is. Seriously, no one wants their significant other to gain a ton of weight. Do you want him to gain weight? Probably not. Ask yourself a couple questions…Does he take you out a lot? Does he comment positively on your appearance? Do others tell you that you look great in your clothes? You are seriously lying to yourself if you think appearance doesn’t matter when you are in a relationship. The world is run on what we look like. Being overweight is a social, health, and career risk. Not to mention that if he truly cared about you, he would not want you to risk your health with extra weight. Now take a deep breath, put down the doughnut, and take a walk.
Posted in Interesting Questions
June 19th, 2007
What is an appropriate and polite amount of time to call someone back after they have left a message on your answering machine (assuming it’s not an emergency)? And how about responding back to an e-mail? Is it considered rude to not return a call or e-mail, or is it not really a big deal among friends?
Thanks for you input.
Dear Trying to be Polite but Doesn’t Really Want To,
Unless they tell you need to call back by a certain time then it is optional. Or they say to you, please call me back asap, my pants are in flames, you can really call back when you damn well feel like it.
Posted in Interesting Questions
June 19th, 2007
And where have I been? Doing absolutely nothing fancy and amazing. Alright, I fess up I have been working at the Tropicana in Vegas as a low budget show girl. The kind wear they pay you to where clothes. Yea, that bad. But I do have two new questions for you….
This may sound disgusting but, how do you convince
your dog that eating cat poop is inappropriate? I have
been trying to do this for almost 2 years now and she
just won't listen. I constantly see her coming around
the corner licking her lips, litter stuck to her nose,
and I know exactly what she's been up to. Thank you
Answer Queen!
Dear Mother of Dog Eating Cat Poo,
Alas some dogs are born to eat shit and there is nothing you can do about it. Just like many a man is born to talk it...(shit that is).
Why fight nature and instead, give her a bib. Or maybe you could put the cat shit in her bowl and put the dog food in the litter box????
Posted in Interesting Questions
March 26th, 2007
Question: If you see your best friend’s husband makin’ out with some chick should you tell her? I confronted him about it and he says he is going to change but still…
Answer: How best is your best friend? Chances are if you tell her you are blowing the lid off their marriage. If it back fires she will hate you for ruining everything. Especially if he just had a one time screw up. That does happen. Every day. People run around messing up their lives. I think I would keep my yapper shut and keep my eye on husband. Nail him if he screws up again.
Posted in Interesting Questions
March 26th, 2007
My uber liberal heart has a secret to divulge. I love listening to Dr. Laura and for the most part I think she is right about children. Too many of us do not put children first and currently I am in the same position. Getting myself into predicaments where I do to much seems to be my thing. Right now I am working about twenty hours a week and now my baby sitter has left us. My children are being taken everywhere with me and it has ruined their schedule, the impact on them has really taken a toll on our family. I know the husband is not cool with this and I am in complete agreement. What started as a way to keep me involved in gymnastics while getting out of the house has turned into a hassle. But now the commitments have been made. In a basic Catch 22, I am screwing up a schedule if I quit and messing up the babies if I don’t. What’s a girl to do? Obviously I should have thought a lot harder about the ramifications of me working so much. Yeah duh to me. But really how can we be assured the choice we make is the right one. This really smart guy told me one time that “you know right away when you make a wrong decision but it takes awhile to know if you made a right one”. I use this as my daily mantra right now. How many of you have found yourself backed into a corner and it is your own fault???
Posted in Interesting Questions